New Englanders

60 above zero:
Arizonians turn on the heat; people in New England plant gardens.

50 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably; people in Boston sunbathe.

40 above zero:
Italian & English cars won't start; people in New England drive with the windows down.

32 above zero:
Distilled water freezes; the water in Massachusetts gets thicker.

20 above zero:
Floridians don coats, gloves, wool hats; people in New England throw on a flannel shirt.

15 above zero:
N.Y landlords turn up the heat; people in New England have the last cookout before it gets cold.

0:
People in Miami all die; New Englanders close the windows.

10 below zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico; people in New England get out their winter coats.

25 below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates; Girl Scouts in New England are selling cookies door to door. (True!)

40 below zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air. People in New England let the dogs sleep indoors.

150 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole; New Englanders get upset because they can't start the Mini-Van.

460 below zero:
ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale.); People in New England start saying..."Cold 'nuff fer ya?"

500 below zero:
Hell freezes over; Mass. public schools will open 2 hours late.