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Friday

You Know You're Italian When ...

One of our Las Vegas Italian friends sent us this one.

  • Why do Italians hate Jehovah's Witnesses? Because Italians hate all witnesses.
  • Do you know why most men from Italy are named Tony? On the boat over to America they put a sticker on them that said ... TO NY
  • You know you're Italian when . . . . You can bench press 325 pounds, shave twice a day and still cry when your mother yells at you.
  • Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant, travel agent and lawyer are all your cousins.
  • You have at least 5 cousins living in the same town or on the same block. All five of those cousins are named after your grandfather or grandmother.
  • You are on a first name basis with at least 8 banquet hall owners
  • You only get one good shave from a disposable razor.
  • If someone in your family grows beyond 5' 9', it is presumed his Mother had an affair.
  • There were more than 28 people in your bridal party.
  • You netted more than $50,000 on your first communion.

    And you REALLY, REALLY know you're Italian when . . . .
  • Your grandfather had a fig tree.
  • You eat Sunday dinner at 2:00.
  • Christmas Eve . . . only fish.
  • Your mom's meatballs are the best.
  • You've been hit with a wooden spoon or had a shoe thrown at you.
  • Clear plastic covers on all the furniture.
  • You know how to pronounce 'manic otti' and 'mozzarella.'
  • You fight over whether it's called 'sauce' or 'gravy.'
  • You've called someone a 'mamaluke.'
  • And you understand 'bada bing'.

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