One of My All Time Favorite Jokes

A friend recently sent this to me. When I first heard this joke told, it was done with a bar room setting. I think both renditions are funny, and I'm not really sure which I like the best. You read them both and let me know which you like the best.

THE IRS SETTING:
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The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office.The auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney. The auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable.' I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Grandpa. 'How about a demonstration?' The auditor thinks for a moment and
said, 'Okay. Go ahead.' Grandpa says , 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.' The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet.' Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops.

Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.' The auditor can plainly see that Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet. Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye. The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

'Want to go double or nothing?' Grandpa asks 'I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.' The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again. Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win. But Grandpa's attorney moans and puts his head in his hands. 'Are you okay?' the auditor asks. 'Not really,' says the attorney. 'This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it.'

THE BAR SETTING
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A construction worker walks up to the bar, sits down and orders a beer. The bartender says, "that'll be $3.50". The construction worker says, "Are you a betting man?" The bartender says, "I've been known to make a wager or two."

The construction workers says, "I'll bet you $25 dollars and a beer I can bite my own eye." The bartender thinks for a moment and says, "It's a bet." The construction worker takes a glass eyeball out of his left eye and places it between his teeth and bites it." The bartenders mouth drops and he admits that he lost and places $25 dollars and a beer on the bar.

Next, the construction worker says, "Are you still a betting man?" "Well, sure ...", the bartender says, "I'd like a chance to get my money back." The construction worker says, "I'll bet you $50 dollars I can bite my right eye." The bartender can see that the man is not blind and finally accepts the bet. The construction worker then takes out his false teeth and proceeds to bite his right eye. Visibly upset the bartender places $50 and another beer in front of the construction worker.

After finishing the beer the construction worker calls the bartender over and asks if he would like another chance to get his money back. Naturally the bartender agrees. The construction worker says, "I'll bet you double or nothing that I can stand on one end or your bar and piss into a glass placed at the other end." The bartender looks up and down the bar and says, "No way, you're on!"

The construction worker precedes to stand on one end of the bar, unzips his pants and proceeds to pee all over the bar, not even coming close to the glass placed at the end. The bartender comes up, all excited and laughing like crazy, and says, "I knew you couldn't do it, why did you make such a foolish bet?"

The construction worker says, " See those three guys sitting at that table over by the wall? I bet them $100 dollars apiece that I could stand up on your bar, piss all over it and make you laugh like hell!.