Some Random Thoughts

My favorites are in bold!

*       I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
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*        More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I
can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can
tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly
involves me.

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*        Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
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*        I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to
drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint
and sticks when they've invented the lighter? 
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*        Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that
you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are
supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
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*        I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when
I was younger. 
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*        The letters T and G are very close to each other on a
keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again. 
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*        Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it
wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would
magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.
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*        There is a great need for sarcasm font.
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*        Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was
younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the f*** was going on
when I first saw it.
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*        I think everyone has a movie that they love so much; it
actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up
wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.
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*        How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
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*       I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each
hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
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*        I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately
clear your computer history if you die.
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*        The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying
to finish a text.
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*        A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to
the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.
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*        Was learning cursive really necessary?
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*        Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing
else to say".
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*        I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom
and hunger.
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*        Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a
Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.
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*        My brother's Municipal League baseball team is named the
Stepdads. Seeing as none of the guys on the team are actual stepdads, I inquired about the name. He explained, "Cuz we beat you, and you hate us." Classy, bro.
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*        Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".
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*        How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
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*        I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!
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*        While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and
instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.
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*        MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
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*        Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you
how the person died.
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*        I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
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*        Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get
dirty, and you can wear them forever.
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*        I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of
tired.
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*        Bad decisions make good stories
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*        Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that
their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just
got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!
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*        Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier
every year?
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*        If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their
offspring would probably just be completely invisible.
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*        Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has
to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so
incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from; this shouldn't be a problem....
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*        You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
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*        Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.
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*        There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
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*        I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it
asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
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*        "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash
this ever.
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*        I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people
watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'
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*        While watching the Olympics, I find myself cheering equally for China and USA . No, I am not of Chinese descent, but I am fairly certain that when Chinese athletes don't win, they are executed.
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*        I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Darnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
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*        I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
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*        When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something
she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light
internet stalking.
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*        I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on
shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
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*        Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...
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*        As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate
drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate
cyclists.
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*        Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and
still not know what time it is.
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*        It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.
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*       I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
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*        I think that if, years down the road when I'm trying to have a
kid, I find out that I'm sterile, most of my disappointment will stem
from the fact that I was not aware of my condition in college.
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*        Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.
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*        Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my a$$ everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...
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*        My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what
would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to
that?
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*        It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com
and the link takes me to a video instead of text.
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*        I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.
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*        I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
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*       I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.
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*        The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the
bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other
words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimate d that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.

Motivational Poster on “Partnership”

Sometimes a picture truly does say it all.

Thought for the Day

Do Not Envy A Woman

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home.  He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:

'Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through. So, please allow her body to switch with mine for a day.  Amen!' !

God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish. The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman.

He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate,
Awakened the kids,
Set out their school clothes,
Fed them breakfast,
Packed their lunches,
Drove them to school,
Came home, picked up the dry cleaning, and took it to the cleaners ,
Stopped at the bank to make a deposit,
Went grocery shopping,
Then drove home to put away the groceries,
Paid the bills and balanced the check book.

He cleaned the cat's litter box,
Bathed the dog, then, it was already 1P.M.,
And he hurried to make the beds,
Do the laundry,
Vacuum,
Dust,
And sweep and mopped the kitchen floor.!

He then ran to the school to pick up the kids,
Got into an argument with them on the way home,
Set out milk and cookies
Got the kids organized to do their homework,
Set up the ironing board and watched TV while ironing.

At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes,
Washed vegetables and made a salad,
Breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper.

After supper, He cleaned the kitchen,
Ran the dishwasher,
Folded laundry,
Bathed the kids,
And put them to bed.

By 9 P.M. he was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaint.

The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said: - 'Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home all day. Please, oh! Oh! Please, let us trade back. Amen!'

The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied: 'My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were. You'll just have to wait nine months, though. You got pregnant last night.'

This has been voted Women's Favorite E-mail of the Year!

WOW! WHAT A LETTER !

I received this unsigned letter in an email that said it was written by a housewife from New Jersey.  Whoever it was, they should have signed it. I couldn’t agree more! 

“Are we fighting a war on terror or aren't we? Was it or was it not started by Islamic people who brought it to our shores on September 11, 2001? Were people from all over the world, mostly Americans, not brutally murdered that day, in downtown Manhattan, across the Potomac from our nation's capitol and in a field in Pennsylvania? Did nearly three thousand men, women and children die a horrible, burning or crushing death that day, or didn't they? And I'm supposed to care that a copy of the Koran was 'desecrated' when an overworked American soldier kicked it or got it wet? ... Well, I don't. I don't care at all.

I'll start caring when Osama bin Laden turns himself in and repents for incinerating all those innocent people on 9/11. I'll care about the Koran when the fanatics in the Middle East start caring about the Holy Bible, the mere possession of which is a crime in Saudi Arabia.  I'll care when these thugs tell the world they are sorry for chopping off Nick Berg's head while Berg screamed through his gurgling slashed throat. I'll care when the cowardly so-called 'insurgents' in Iraq come out and fight like men instead of disrespecting their own religion by hiding in mosques. I'll care when the mindless zealots who blow themselves up in search of nirvana care about the innocent children within range of their suicide.  I'll care when the American media stops pretending that their First Amendment liberties are somehow derived from international law instead of the United States Constitution's Bill of Rights.

In the meantime, when I hear a story about a brave marine roughing up an Iraqi terrorist to obtain information, know this: I don't care. When I see a fuzzy photo of a pile of naked Iraqi prisoners who have been humiliated in what amounts to a college-hazing incident, rest assured: I don't care. When I see a wounded terrorist get shot in the head when he is told not to move because he might be booby-trapped, you can take it to the bank: I don't care. When I hear that a prisoner, who was issued a Koran and a prayer mat, and fed 'special' food that is paid for by my tax dollars, is complaining that his holy book is being 'mishandled,' you can absolutely believe in your heart of hearts: I don't care.

And oh, by the way, I've noticed that sometimes it's spelled 'Koran' and other times 'Quran.' Well, Jimmy Crack Corn and-you guessed it-I don't care!!  

And may I add: 'Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a difference in the world. But, the Marines don't have that problem' -- Ronald Reagan.  I have another quote that I would like to add, 'If we ever forget that we're One Nation Under God, then we will be a nation gone under' -also by -- Ronald Reagan.

One last thought for the day: In case we find ourselves starting to believe all the Anti-American sentiment and negativity, we should remember England 's Prime Minister Tony Blair's words during a recent interview. When asked by one of his Parliament members why he believes so much in America , he said: 'A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in.. And how many want out.'

Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you: 1.. Jesus Christ. 2. The American G. I.. One died for your soul, the other for your freedom. Too many people seem to forget both of them. AMEN!

If you agree with this viewpoint, pass this on to all your E-mail friends. Sooner or later, it'll get to the people responsible for this ridiculous behavior! If you don't agree, then by all means hit the delete button. Should you choose the latter, then please don't complain when more atrocities committed by radical Muslims happen here in our great Country!” 

The Economy – How Bad Is It?

The economy is soooo bad ….

• CEO's are now playing miniature golf
• Even people who have nothing to do with the Obama administration aren't paying their taxes
• Hotwheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM
• Obama met with small businesses to discuss the Stimulus Package:  GE, Pfeizer and Citigroup
• McDonalds is selling the 1/4 ouncer
• Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names
• A truck full of Americans got caught sneaking into Mexico
• The most highly-paid job is now jury duty
• Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting
• People in Africa are donating money to Americans
• Mothers in Ethiopia are telling their kids, "finish your plate, do you know how many kids are starving in the US?"
• Motel Six won't leave the light on
• The Mafia is laying off judges 
  And finally...
• Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal.
  
  Hey, neat..the guy who made $50 billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $750 billion disappear.

Thoughts on Walking

Walking can add minutes to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $7000 per month.

My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60.  Now he's 97 years old and we don't know where he is.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

The only reason I would take up walking is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

I have to walk early in the morning, before my brain figures out what I'm doing..

I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to go there.

Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise', I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

I do have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

The advantage of exercising every day is so when you die, they'll say, 'Well, she looks good doesn't she.'

If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.

I know I got a lot of exercise the last few years,...... just getting over the hill.

We all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot more information in our heads. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

AND

Every time I start thinking too much about how I look, I just find a Happy Hour and by the time I leave, I look just fine.

Thought for the Day

	Don’t know about you, but this sure sounds like us!

Thought for the Day

...I'M GETTING SO FAT
I CAN HARDLY SCRATCH MY OWN BUTT!

Thought for the Day

Thought for the Day – The Economy

Due to recent budget cuts and the cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions and the continued decline of the economy, The Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off. We apologize for the inconvenience.

Importance of Walking

• Walking can add minutes to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $7000 per month.
  
• My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60. Now he's 97 years old and we don't know where he is.
  
• I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
  
• The only reason I would take up walking is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
  
• I have to walk early in the morning, before my brain figures out what I'm doing.

Rare Photo

For all who appreciate the outdoors ..... the rarely photographed  South Florida  Squirrel

Double-click to enlarge …..

Thought for the Day

Always feel free to express yourself

Thought for the Day

Get plenty of rest. Take lots of naps

Thought for the Day

There is always someone who loves you more than you know

Thought for the Day

As you get older it’s important that you try to have a little fun every day

Double-Click to enlarge …

Ever Wonder ....

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

A Reason, A Season, A Lifetime?

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, This person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant. The greatest thing being that they are always there, no matter what happens.

Whether you were, a reason, a season or a lifetime, we thank you for being a part of our life. At our age we realize that most of you receiving this must fall into that Lifetime catagory; for which we give special thanks!

What I've Learned

• I've learned that, no matter what happens, how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow
• I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles four things: a rainy day, the elderly, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights
• I've learned that, regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life
• I've learned that making a 'living' is not the same thing as making a 'life...'
• I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance
• I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back
• I've learned that if you pursue happiness, it will elude you. But, if you focus on your family, your friends, the needs of others, your work and doing the very best you can, happiness will find you
• I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision
• I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one
• I've learned that every day, you should reach out and touch someone
• People love that human touch -- holding hands, a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back
• I've learned that I still have a lot to learn